Aloha!
This past week has been busy and full of blessings. I'm still hurting a tiny bit from the Ex and his actions but I have the support of my family, friends and a lot of people at church on my side. I'm growing in faith by the two Bible studies I'm attending and I MADE IT THROUGH THE SHOW! I'm also reading "The Shack" which I got as a gift and let me tell you it is blowing my mind!!!!
But there are times when I mess up....by swearing when I'm with friends...and this morning I was really going to try to get up and start to pray. I'm no way a morning person so I only did it half heartedly, and I felt bad....there were some parts to today that were amazing, though, and I thank Jesus for that.
I'm trying to honor my vow and I'm starting to see how hard that can be not even a month into it.
Oy. I need help.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Day 16- A Hooray Day!
What a GREAT day! I started the day by waking up rested, and not coughing! (That's blessing #1) This ZPack medicine is really great. I listened to worship all the way in and really had some QT with the Lord. Then when I got to work I immediately got a message from one of my Brothers in Christ at church encouraging me and speaking to all of the thoughts I had on the drive in! (That's blessing like 5 by now right?) I get to go through my day, stressful though it was, with a measure of added patience and awareness of the Lord. My boss was not having a good day and I was able to process the stress more and not let it bother me, where normally I'd let it get me bent out of shape. I leave work late and get to Bible Study right in time to introduce myself, get a cup of coffee and start on an amazing 10 week journey with some fabulous women in my church. We're studying Beth Moore's "Living Beyond Yourself" and if the intro session was any indication the Lord is definitely with this group!!!!! I m so excited to see what the upcoming weeks bring me and how the Lord changes me for His glory.
Such a great day!!!
Such a great day!!!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Day 15
Today consisted of being sick, and resting. I went to work but that lasted all of 30 minutes because my fever was up around 101. I went to the Dr's and she prescribed me a Zpack and some cough medicine. I had to dip into my meager savings, which displeases me. All in all I've been praying for health. My pastor and my friends are all praying for me also...it makes me feel nice. Like I have a support system. The selfish part of me wants to have people on my side, specifically. But I go to New Hope, which is his childhood church....so people still love him regardless. I don't want people to hate him, and they do mostly fall on my side. Where is the resolution?!?!? I feel like this isn't over, and it really needs to be.
My thoughts are still hung up on Ex, and its really frustrating to me, if it isn't obvious. I need to fully focus on the Lord and not hung up on him. I have no contact with him, really, but I can't help but think about him...what he's doing, does he think of me. Mainly I feel like I'm owed an apology that may never come. My prayer has to become about breaking free of him, and thoughts surrounding him. It hasn't helped that having to rest has brought these thoughts to the surface- its so much easier when I'm busy. This is the last weekend for the musical so after Saturday I'll really only have to see him on Sundays. I pray for strength.
Thoughts about missions are still surfacing as well....I want to go on a missions trip but I don't have any money, and I just started new job. They would not let me go.
So many things are swirling around in my head and I need to start changing something! Anything! Where do I begin? How do I start? I'm on my walk- ok, but I guess I'm selfish in that I wanted the happy parts and not these stressful parts.
But this is what its about. The hard parts, and still remaining faithful to my Lord.
Jesus, you are sovereign, and I know you have the best plans for me. Help heal my physical hurts, and continue to protect my heart during this time of healing. Help me keep the blinders on and dive into Your Word, which it Truth. And help me be a light for you, every day, even where I am. Help me to bloom where I'm planted.
My thoughts are still hung up on Ex, and its really frustrating to me, if it isn't obvious. I need to fully focus on the Lord and not hung up on him. I have no contact with him, really, but I can't help but think about him...what he's doing, does he think of me. Mainly I feel like I'm owed an apology that may never come. My prayer has to become about breaking free of him, and thoughts surrounding him. It hasn't helped that having to rest has brought these thoughts to the surface- its so much easier when I'm busy. This is the last weekend for the musical so after Saturday I'll really only have to see him on Sundays. I pray for strength.
Thoughts about missions are still surfacing as well....I want to go on a missions trip but I don't have any money, and I just started new job. They would not let me go.
So many things are swirling around in my head and I need to start changing something! Anything! Where do I begin? How do I start? I'm on my walk- ok, but I guess I'm selfish in that I wanted the happy parts and not these stressful parts.
But this is what its about. The hard parts, and still remaining faithful to my Lord.
Jesus, you are sovereign, and I know you have the best plans for me. Help heal my physical hurts, and continue to protect my heart during this time of healing. Help me keep the blinders on and dive into Your Word, which it Truth. And help me be a light for you, every day, even where I am. Help me to bloom where I'm planted.
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